Improving Relationship With Spouse

Why are Christian Treatment Centers Increasing in Popularity?

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 02:09:28 -0800

Christian treatmentfacilities have the ability to emphasize the increasing popularity and growth that they are experiencing. They do this in view of the fact that there are many addicts out in the world that need their help and need it badly. In these faith based centers, the addict gets his or her hands on the pure Word of God without any inclination to be persuaded to choose religions. The centers try to initiate a relationship with God first. Church and religion have their own perspective in the world, but for the treatment, a relationship with God is the more ideal choice.Christiandrug rehab centers present a much more philosophical advance to life and the actuality that no one is an island and that we all need God to exist in a world that i...

What ARE "Good Manners"?

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 02:18:08 -0800

Interesting question, isn't it? In the Age of Rudeness, we maybe losing touch with what etiquette and good manners are allabout. In fact there may be those among us who haven'texperienced it. According to a recent survey, more than ofAmericans are concerned about the growing rudeness in the U. S. We assault each other more all the time with upsetting noises,sights, sounds, smells, and attitude. It's getting to where weneed to protect ourselves from one another! Maybe it's getting alittle too wild out there.Good manners are, first of all, civilized behavior. That's asopposed to wild behavior. 'He acts like he was raised in abarnyard,' my mother would say, about some hapless boy whopulled up in front of my house for a date and just sat in thecar and honked. Whether that was a particular rule in your household, orculture, all cultures have 'rules' and they are learned, notinnate. It Italy it's good manners for a man to greet anotherman with an embrace and a kiss on ea...

The Top 10 Ways To Take the Fear Out of Retiring

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 02:24:08 -0800

.'What do you mean, you hate to travel?'Have you and your spouse actually sat down and discussed howeach of you envisions retirement? If your dreams are completelyopposite of your spouse's, both of you are going to bedisappointed. Honestly talk about them before you get the goldwatch. Be creative and open to compromise, so both of yourdreams can come true..'You mean, you're here ALL the time, now?' Spending all this quality time together may seem like awonderful idea, but remember, you both have daily routines, someof which may have been years in the making. Also, you're notused to spending hours a day, days a week in each other'scompany. Experienced retirees say this is such a big adjustment,they'd recommend pre-retirement counseling along the lines ofmarriage counseling! Recognize and respect the needs both of youhave for space, as well as each other's routines. .Money matters, and so does peace of mind.If you haven't already, consult with a financial advi...

What's Making You So Tired?

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 02:29:54 -0800

Mary was always exhausted. Despite working out, eating well,taking supplements, and even having therapy, there was somethingdragging her down she couldn't figure out. When I first talked to her, she described a good job, asupportive spouse, a good set of friends, and some interestinghobbies. She had even just returned from a vacation, but thefact it hadn't refreshed her caused her to call for coaching.She wanted to brainstorm on what was going on and what she coulddo differently. 'What did you think about when you were on vacation?' I askedher. It seemed a good place to start.'What I should've done before I left home,' she replied, andwent on to describe a long list of things that had piled up athome ' a garage that needed cleaning, a lawn that had beenneglected, files at work and at home that hadn't been taken careof, and a whole backlog of things that needed attending to.'I thought a vacation was what I needed,' she said, 'you know toget some rest. But it didn't work...

Pace of change and our ability to accept it.

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 04:29:16 -0800

There have been many discussions and grumblings in the Westernworld about the ever increasing pace of change and the abilityof the brain to accept it. The Internet something uninterestingthat the American Military was developing suddenly became arequired household feature. Digital Mobile Phones suddenly givenew meaning to taking photographs and all those gimmicks fromJames Bond Movies have long since been incorporated, acceptedand forgotten about in daily life.When in A.D., Roman Engineer Julius Sextus Frontinus said,"Inventions have long since reached their limit, and I see nohope for further developments' he never knew that his wordswould be repeated. Mr Charles Duell, The Commissioner of theUnited States Patent Office said nearly the same thing in :He said:"Everything that can be invented ' has already been invented'.The rate of change is moving upwards at an ever increasing pace.We no sooner buy a computer than it becomes obsolete withoutdated programs, c...

Integrity - the unspoken secret of success.

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 02:18:59 -0800

Integrity is a word you don't often hear mentioned these days. Young men and women are told to study Machiavelli instead of theBible, Dale Carnegie instead of Gandhi, they are told toconsider Donald Trump a better example of success than ArloGuthrie.Fraud building upon fraud within a culture of fraud leads toresults that are detectably fraudulent. Soon, more energy andeffort is spent concealing the truth than it would take tomarket an honest product made by Honourable people at a fairprice.It is true that if your only concern is wealth or power than itis much simpler - at least initially - to seek those goalswithout the silly constraints of morality.But aside from morality, aside from ethics, consider thistruism: "Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate." When youdefine success in terms of "one winner takes many losers," youcreate endless amounts of resentment that will follow youforever. If you invest rather in building legitimaterelationships built on trust, you...

The Art of Forgiving

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 05:25:46 -0800

Have you ever sat down on a big rock by a flowing stream, hungyour head and cried like a baby? Me neither but hey the days notover yet! Sometimes in life we get hit hard and fast. Maybe by afriend, a lover, spouse, neighbor or just a complete stranger.When that event does take place, it hurts, hurts so bad we seered. Our chests feel like a heavy weight has been dropped on it,the tears just want to burst from our eyes. We want to kick andscream or just curl up and die! Then of course we have to dealwith the depressive states, the anger states. Did we deal withthem or are they still there, buried in whatever way we'vealways dealt with our hurts and pains. Did we forgive and moveon or is that little something still there waiting to spring tolife again to continue dissolving the happiness we all deserve.Oh, you are happy! Then why does a certain something, a smell, aname, a color, whatever, bring back that tight feeling. Thattear to the corner of your eye or that angry look...

Book Review

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 05:01:08 -0800

This extraordinary book was recommended to me by a colleagueafter he visited my new web site, Gift Ideas For Women. The MaleGift Giving Survival Guide compliments my website perfectly,untangling for men the web of gifts for women. It deciphers thecomponents of the complex female psyche to its most logicalterms. And no, that's not a misprint...I just used the words"female" and "logical" in the same sentence.There is but one universal truth about those of the fairer sex:"Women Love Gifts". So, all women love gifts... a guy doesn'thave to be a genius to grasp that concept. Or does he? Ask yourgolf buddy who gave his wife a garden rake for her birthday."You just had to remind me" he mumbles dropping his head. Makecertain that you have lined up another friend for next week'sgame though...your buddy is going to drop you like a rock.According to the author, women adore gifts that reflect the loveof the giver and his explicit understanding of her desires andtastes. As a woman, ...

Have You Forgotten Him

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 02:17:01 -0800

May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all yearthrough! Author UnknownChristmas used to be my favorite holiday as a child. I lovedeverything about it, the decorations, food, carols, family andof course, presents. But as I became an adult, I found myselfdisappointed with the holidays. The true meaning of Christmaswas somehow lost. Somewhere the joyous day that I remembered as a child was tradedfor a big commercialized nightmare. Jesus had been forgotten. Noroom in the inn has been replaced with 'sold out' signs. Societyhas taken Christ out of Christmas. I remember when it was a dayof giving, prayer, kindness, and helping those less fortunate.But the horrible reality is Santa has become the only symbol ofChristmas. Children are literally bombarded with commercials during theholidays. Stores are packed with frantic Christmas shoppers andJesus has somehow been lost in the chase for the perfectChristmas gift. A survey by Leger Marketing indicates thate...

Emotional Intelligence Brings Results

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 02:19:55 -0800

You've probably been hearing a lot about Emotional Intelligenceand wondering what it is. In this article we'll talk about whatEmotional Intelligence is, what it can do for you, and why it'sthe best solution for your challenges. DEFINITIONEmotional Intelligence EQ is about your ability to understandand manage your own feelings and those of others, and to usethis information to guide you to relate better, plan moreflexibly, make better decisions, think more creatively,prioritize, motivate yourself and others, and enjoy betterhealth.Daniel Goleman, author of 'Emotional Intelligence,' defined itas 'the wider range of qualities which enable people to excel 'self-awareness, impulse control, persistence, empathy, etc.' WHAT CAN IT DO FOR YOU?Emotional Intelligence is based on a number of competencies youcan learn. Four of them are CREATIVITY, INTENTIONALITY,RESILIENCE and AUTHENTICITY. Depending upon which system youstudy, there are around a dozen of these competencies. W...

STRESS MANAGEMENT FOR 2004

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 02:10:27 -0800

Perhaps you are like many of the people I talk to who have movedon from the stress of the holidays and are now feeling thestress of everyday life. Would you really like to reduce or eveneliminate some of the stress rather than just 'manage' it? Wouldyou like a healthier, happier life?Stress is epidemic in our country. Norman Cousins, author ofAnatomy of an Illness said that 'stress is the most seriousmedical problem of our time.' Chronic stress releases dangerousstress hormones and shuts down our immune system. Stress plays amajor role in most illnesses including cancer, heart disease,fibromyalgia, migraines, gastrointestinal problems, arthritisand many more. Stress related symptoms are the reason for ofdoctor office visits. Stress kills.If you are like me, you have probably taken at least one ofthose 'stress tests.' You know, the kind where you check off allof the possible life stressors you have experienced and thenrealize you have checked most of them. Then what?...

Willing To vs. Wanting To

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 02:21:22 -0800

Have you ever heard someone say ' sometimes for years ' 'I'vealways wanted to be a school teacher,' or 'I want to have my ownbusiness some day'? This is a very different statement than the person who says, 'Iintend to have this new business up and running within oneyear.' If you haven't heard that last sort of statement much, it'sbecause it usually doesn't come out in casual conversation,where vague dreams are bandied about. It tends to show up inactions, such as a business plan, a spreadsheet, contractingwith a coach, making an appointment with an intellectualproperty attorney, or selling an asset to build capital toendure some lean months.There's a crucial difference between 'willing to do something'and 'wanting to do something.' Of course it reminds us of theterm 'willpower,' which means you are managing yourself towardan outcome. Your 'will' is what you use when you are puttingpressure on yourself to accomplish something and directing yourbehavior, with focus. It...

Happiness

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 02:41:46 -0800

We convince ourselves that life will be better when we have ababy or another one. When we finally get what we thought wewanted, we find ourselves exhausted. Then, we conclude we willbe more content when the children are older. Only, they do get older. Then, we have teenagers to deal with.Surely, happiness will come once they have outgrown that stage.But, no, wait. They leave the nest. We tell ourselves that life will be complete when our spousegets their act together, when we get a nicer car, when we get araise, when we have grandchildren, or when we are able to go ona nicer vacation. The truth is, there is no better time to be happy than rightnow. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled withchallenges. It is best to admit this to yourself and decide tobe happy anyway. There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So,treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more becauseyou shared it with someone special enough to share your timewit...

How To Fight Cultural Differences In Marriage And Stay Happy.

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 05:05:49 -0800

When people plan to marry, they expect to find in their partnernot only a lover but a friend also. A person with whom they canshare their opinions, their emotions, thoughts and fears. Inmarriage we are looking for a partner who will be able tounderstand our values, our likes and dislikes. If a man and a woman are born and raised in the same country,most likely they are familiar with the same songs, movies,jokes, books and life in general. They basically have the sameroots. In the case of a western man -foreign woman family everything ismore complicated and requires much more patience andunderstanding from both spouses.On one hand each of the partners has an opportunity to learn agreat deal about the other's country, culture, traditions andlife styles which can be very interesting. On the other hand itcan be very disappointing, the inability to understand yourpartner's excitements and, or frustrations. For example, say you are watching the television and suddenlyyou s...

Attitude Adjustment 101

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 02:41:25 -0800

Attitude Adjustment : Nine Ways to Transform You FromMediocre to Magnificent By Susan Young 'Work on your career and you'll make a living. Work on yourselfand you'll make a fortune.' - Jim RohnRegardless of the number of college credits or degrees you have,the truth is that much of your success is determined by yourattitude. Education is worthwhile but a good attitude ispriceless. If you search for a college that has a concentrationof study entitled 'Attitude,' you will come up empty handed.Yet, the world would be a better place if we could all major in'Attitude.' If attitude is not taught in school, then how come some peoplehave great attitudes and others don't? More important, how canyou change from a mediocre attitude to a magnificent one? First, to adjust your attitude, you must be brutally honest withyourself and take responsibility for your attitude. You are theonly one who can change you. Be accountable for who you are andhow you behave. Tell yourself that bl...

The Gift of a Near Death Experience

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 02:08:22 -0800

Almost everyone has experienced at least one harrowing event inwhich they felt they might have died. An automobile accident or near accident, a fall, an illness. Acar speeding past them careening off the road while they werewalking along. A kitchen towel you were holding just started tocatch fire, and you noticed it immediately. You began to loseyour balance while climbing on a ladder. A driver lost controlof his vehicle and ran onto the sidewalk right near you. Youmight think back to one of the more frightening times that youremember from the past. If it was very dangerous, the merememory of the event right now might send a chill down yourspine, and shivers over your body.Recall how you felt after the initial shock passed, your heartrate had returned to normal, and your breathing had slowed downand the trembling in your body had ceased. The scenarioreverberated in your head. You would relive the experience, thenear miss, a number of times as you sat there, calming dow...

Everything I Know About Relationship Success I Learned At The

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 02:18:19 -0800

It happened again! I was enjoying an evening with my little -yr. old son at theplayground when, BAM, it happened. You ever have one of thosemoments in life when you know you are being taught an importantlesson? Picture in your mind a chaotic atmosphere of over fifty littlechildren battling for their turn to play on a handful ofplayground rides and objects. Recipe for disaster, huh? That's what I thought, too, until myobservations quickly picked up something else. Sure, they were running into one another, crying and trying toget ahead of each other for the rides. They were walking acrossother children who had fallen down in front of them and werepushing one another to get their turn. They were running totheir parents for comfort after getting their feelings hurt. As I stood there taking in the scenery before me, those littleblessings of life showed me some important lessons aboutrelationship success. If you will indulge me a moment, I willshare with you what I found o...

Christian Positive Thinking For Strength

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 02:16:01 -0800

The question that you need to sit back and take stock of today is in whose strength are you relying upon in your day to day life? If it is your own strength then you are destined for failure. Turn things around today by relying upon Gods strength.How is your heart going? Would you like a stronger heart? Then take hold of Psalm : which say, God is the strength of my heart.You don't want to be afraid anymore? Then Psalm : is for you because it says, Who shall you fear? When the Lord is the strength of your life, of whom shall you be afraid?Are you going through a hard time? Then Psalm : says the Lord will give you strength in a time of trouble. Psalm : also says that God is our refuge and strength, a very pleasant help in trouble.Some Christian Positive Thinking with Affirmations of StrengthGod is the rock of my strength I will go in the strength of the Lord The Lord is my strength and song God is the strength of my heart It is God who girdeth me with st...

When Men Are "Emotional Camels"

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 04:43:55 -0800

Many women find it hard to understand how the men in their livescan be satisfied with life as it is. Don't they need morepassion? Don't they need more fun? Don't they need to have moreof a connection with their family, their wife, or theircommunity? Regardless of the area of concern, the truth is that many menare what I call "emotional camels." Just like a camel can goforever without water in the heat of the desert, so can many mengo without the intimacy, feelings of fulfillment, or theexcitement life can offer. Men from all walks of life tend tostrive to have a sort of emotional harmony or peace, or whatsome may call "an emotional flat-line." It's not that men don't like feelings, it's that they arewilling to sacrifice the highs and lows for the steady,even-keeled experience of life. This is a good thing to them.Most men hate being depressed, or sad, or angry. They want thesefeelings to go away as quickly as possible, so they can returnto their "flat line" state.Whil...

Getting Life Balance ... At Last

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 02:46:55 -0800

There's a lot of talk these days about life balance. For many ofus, life is out-of-balance ' too much work, too little family,too much sitting, too little exercise; too much sugar, toolittle green vegetables; too much stress, too little relaxation.If you go to a 'life balance coach,' you'll probably be told tomake a pie chart of your life, and to start removing things thatare stressing you.It may be suggested you change your job or career, change yourpartner, get more day care for the kids, hire a maid, get moreexercise, eat more carbs, set priorities, rearrange yourschedule, or move around other external things.These are important, but it's treating the symptom, not thecause. There's a better way to get life balance that lastslonger and has a deeper impact on your life. It requires thatyou make some internal changes.After all, you will never be able to remove every source ofstress in your life, nor would you want to. Consider forinstance that your husband is currently...

Okay, So Now I'm Supposed to Develop My Intuition? How Does That

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 02:09:38 -0800

'Intuition is vital to the empowered employee,' says GarrettBoone, CEO of the Container Store, in 'Fast Company,' butintuition certainly doesn't come to the unprepared mind. Themore knowledgeable you are, the better informed you are, thebetter prepared you are to use your intuition.' So now, you may be thinking, I'm going to have learn to be anintuitive, empowered employee. It's hard to keep up with thebuzz, the fad du jour.However, intuition is no fad. It's an EQ competency, and EQmatters more to your career success and life happiness than yourIQ. And the good news is EQ can be developed over your lifetime.Do you 'have' intuition? I've never coached anyone who didn'thave some. They just needed to hear it described so theyrealized they'd always gone on hunches, and gut feelings, andsurvival instincts, and, yes, even good vibes. All too often this comes out when we say,' I knew 'the market was going to fall I knew 'she wasn't thewoman for me I knew 'he was a crook...

Perseverance vs. Being Stubborn

Tue, 27 Dec 2011 02:38:12 -0800

DEFINITIONSPerseverance - To go on resolutely in spite of opposition,importunity, or obstacles; to remain unchanged or fixed in aspecified character, condition, or position; to stick withsomething, especially something difficult or challenging Being stubborn - Bring unreasonably or perversely unyielding;mulish; unyielding and unopen to reason; performed or carried onin an obstinate or rigid manner; difficult to handle, manage ortreatCOMPARISONSGoing forward vs. Stonewalling Working toward something vs. Refusing to do something Having a positive goal vs. Having a negative goal EXAMPLEHenry Ward Beecher said, "The difference between perseveranceand obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and and theother from a strong won't." Selina persevered in her goal of becoming a teacher. She kept atit despite a lot of obstacles. At one point she had to stop andtake a job to pay the tuition. At another time, her study wasinterrupted when her husband was transferred. To g...

Managing Emotions vs. Controlling Emotions

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 05:01:17 -0800

DEFINITIONSManaging Your Emotions - Being aware of your emotions andletting them happen. Understanding where they come from and whatthey mean. "Getting" the message they are sending. Knowing thatyou have a choice in how you respond to them. Controlling Your Emotions - Shutting down when you're feeling anemotion. Not letting it surface. Stuffing it down. Not gettingthe message it's trying to give you. Faking it. Forcing yourselfnot to feel what you're feeling. Denying what you're feeling.COMPARISONSBeing in touch with your emotions vs. Being out of touch withyour emotions Experiencing your emotions and deciding what you will do withthis information vs. Shutting down the emotion, or reacting toit in a knee jerk fashion Allowing all your emotions as valid sources of information vs.Being willing to allow only certain emotions you consider proper EXAMPLEManaging Your Emotions - As John James sat in the meeting, herealized his pulse was racing, his jaw was clamped, and his...

Find The Courage To Know The Truth

Fri, 23 Dec 2011 02:14:43 -0800

Find The Courage To Know The Truth Helaine Iris 'Making the decision to have a child--it's momentous. It is todecide forever to have your heart go walking around outside yourbody.' Elizabeth StoneMy daughter amazes me. She's just been through a roller coastergrowth cycle. I'm going to share this vulnerable, recent eventfrom her life that has beautifully illustrates a powerful lifelesson. I have her permission to share this story with you. It all started about six months ago when she began her senioryear of high school. To give you some background, our daughter,who tends to be on the reserved side, is not a risk taker, andattends a very small, private, alternative school in ruralVermont. There are kids in her class and for the most partthey all socialize with each other. It's a close-knit group of students. There's not a lot of apotential romantic option in such a small pond yet my daughterbegan to develop a crush on one of her classmates. As the yearprogresse...

It's Not About Bananas

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 02:45:54 -0800

It's Not About Bananas Helaine IrisI can't believe I'm telling you this.The other day, my husband came through the door with a bag ofgroceries. Bananas in particular. " Honey," I asked, "why didn'tyou ask ME if we needed anything?" I was secretly annoyedbecause I'd been planning a trip to the grocery store myself. He responded by telling me we were nearly out of bananas, whichare an important part of his daily health drink. With myincreasingly busy schedule, he decided to take responsibilityfor his own banana needs. Simple enough, right?Wrong. I got upset. I began to argue that he was insensitive bynot thinking of the needs of the household. He reacted and toldme I was not tuned into his need for bananas. The classicmarital argument ensued and spiraled downward very quickly.There we were facing off in the kitchen. Tears in my eyes, himexasperated and both ready to walk away and write the wholething off. Just then, something amazing happened. My husbandsaid, "Thi...